When my kids were young, my son Justin was quite curious about the many odd mannerisms his sister with autism demonstrated.
We welcomed his questions as well as those from his curious neighborhood friends who we were determined to include in our friendly and oh-so-unconventional home. I did my parental best to offer up ideas as to why she does what she does, and thankfully they didn’t question me or ask to see the evidence behind my hypotheses.
We asked a panel of providers to give us their best answers as to why our kids do what they do. Shelley O’Donnell is an Occupational Therapist specializing in children with autism at Seattle Therapy Services. Jim Mancini is a Speech Language Pathologist and Emily Rastall is a Clinical Psychologist, both at Seattle Children’s Autism Center.
Here’s what they had to say:
Why do many kids with autism . . . Avoid eye contact
Jim: Different reasons, I think. There is a difference between kids who actively avoid eye contact and kids who haven’t learned how to use eye contact during communication. For active avoiders, I think there is a sensory component where it is unpleasant for them to make direct eye to eye contact.
Emily: One of the core deficits for individuals with autism is difficulty coordinating verbal and non-verbal means of communication. For example, while speaking to someone, a child may forget to make eye contact (which makes it difficult to know to whom the verbalization is directed). In addition, individuals with autism do not find communicative meaning in others’ eyes like the rest of us. Thus, they are not drawn to others’ eyes as information sources.
Shelley: Because of difficulty attaching meaning to the facial cues of caregivers and peers which relates to the child’s social-communication skills.
Why do many kids with autism . . . Cover their eyes/face /ears with their hands
Shelley: This could relate to many things, such as the child covering their face as a way to block out too much sensory stimuli, to self-regulate, or to express feeling scared/anxious. Many children with autism have auditory sensitivities to specific sounds, such as a fire engine, baby crying, or toilet flushing. Covering their ears is one way to lessen the auditory input.
Emily: Children with autism are often hyper-sensitive to auditory stimuli. Thus, sounds that are tolerable to us may be very loud and uncomfortable for them.
Jim: Covering ears can often become a learned behavior and may be linked to anxiety as a child becomes fearful of potential unpleasant noises.
Why do many kids with autism . . . Startle easily
Shelley: The child may have difficulty anticipating everyday events, and filtering irrelevant social and environmental stimuli. When children startle easily, the result is frequently a “fight or flight” response.
Emily: It may be sensitivity to their environments. A sound that we could tolerate may be startling to someone who is more sensitive to auditory input than others.
Why do many kids with autism . . .Echo/repeat words/phrases
Emily: One of the primary communication deficits in autism is the tendency to echo or repeat words or phrases that are heard in one’s environment. Because the brain’s “language center” has difficulty coming up with language on its own, it copies what it hears from the world around it and uses it in place of original words and sentences of its own. It’s sort of like a Rolodex of phrases that the person pulls from at any given time in the day.
Jim: Repeating words, or echolalia, is a common learning style for children with autism. Children with autism often learn language in chunks rather than creatively word by word. In addition, repeating words and phrases often serves a communicative purpose such as saying “yes” or helping with processing of information.
Shelley: Echolalia may relate to the child with autism having difficulty using more complex and spontaneous language. Echolalia can be a developmental phase and working alongside a SLP is very helpful to identify intervention strategies. As children develop more language, they may repeat phrases (e.g., from a movie) as a social initiation, or may learn to ask the same questions during conversation which helps make the interaction more predictable.
Why do many kids with autism . . .Not talk at all
Jim: Talking or expressive language development requires understanding and use of symbols. Words, after all, are simply symbols for things, actions, and concepts. Sometimes children with autism lack or have significant delays in that ability. Children with difficulty with symbolic representation often have difficulty with understanding of language and use of other communication systems (e.g. sign language, Picture Exchange Communication System). Sometimes, children demonstrate the ability to understand language but have difficulty putting sounds together to form words. This can be a result of a motor speech disorder such as apraxia of speech.
Shelley: It’s difficult to know why some children with autism do not talk or express themselves verbally. If possible, accessing alternative methods of communication, such as using gestures, pictures, typing, or a voice-output device is an important part of their social development.
Why do many kids with autism . . .Walk on their toes
Shelley: Toe-walking? This is a good question. Toe-walking may be a learned habit (many toddlers walk on their toes), or may relate to motor coordination challenges, a tight Achilles tendon, or a sensory processing difference. Toe-walking is also seen with other neurological or developmental disorders, such as cerebral palsy.
Emily: Children with autism often present with stereotyped motor movements, one of which may be walking on their tip-toes. Others hypothesize that walking on toes reduces overstimulation in the feet that can occur as a result of walking on the entire foot.
Why do many kids with autism . . .Flap their hands
Shelley: Children with autism tend to have repetitive motor behaviors such as waving or flapping their hands. This arm and hand motion may be accompanied with other motor mannerisms, such as jumping or head turning.
Jim: Repetitive motor mannerisms, such as flapping hands (but also tensing parts of their body, jumping or “dancing”) are often linked to strong emotions (such as excitement or frustration). We see similar behavior in babies who eventually “grow out” of the behavior.
Emily: These may also be self-soothing behaviors and/or attempts at regulating when what is perceived as overwhelming upset/excitement/boredom/anxiety is present.
Why do many kids with autism . . .Like to spin and jump
Shelley: Spinning and jumping are also examples of repetitive motor behaviors. When a child is spinning or jumping he/she is activating the vestibular system. The child may seek vestibular stimulation as a means to elicit “feel good” sensations and/or also to positively affect his/her arousal.
Emily: Yes, in other words, many children with autism seek sensory information or experiences from the environment (due to feeling under-stimulated). They may also use spinning and jumping as a way of regulating themselves (i.e.: when they are stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed). Spinning and jumping can help one feel regulated and “grounded.”
Why do many kids with autism . . .Have difficulty sitting still
Shelley: The child may have sensory-motor challenges, or may have difficulty with attending behaviors.
Emily: It is not uncommon for individuals with autism to present with hyperactivity and “fidgety” behavior. This is related to an executive functioning deficit that leads to difficulty regulating and planning behaviors and resisting impulses.
Why do many kids with autism . . .Fixate on certain things (such as little things – tiny photo on a big page of a book or wheel of a big toy car)
Shelley: When we think about it developmentally, children look at objects that are visually pleasing – such as rotating objects (fans, wheels, pinwheels). Fixating on certain things could also relate to visual processing, such as seeing the components of objects rather than the “whole” object, or perhaps the child has difficulty expanding play with toys and engages in repetitive play.
Emily: Individuals with autism tend to have brains that think about things over and over. They may fixate on things that they find enjoyable or may get “stuck” trying to finish a task or game. A brain affected by autism tends to be more rigid and “black and white”. So it is hard to be flexible with a number of interests and ways of thinking about things.
Why do many kids with autism . . .Not seem to need much sleep
Shelley: I wish I knew (and so do a lot of parents)!
Jim and Emily didn’t hazard a guess on the sleep issue.
Lynn (whose child has been up since 3:30 this morning): Rats! This is the one question I most wanted an answer to!
Why do many kids with autism . . .Stare into space
Shelley: Some children don’t realize they are staring – but may be “tuning out” what is overwhelming them or daydreaming about preferred interests. If the behavior is concerning, parents should consult with their pediatrician.
Emily: Individuals with autism are often very detail-oriented. Thus, they may notice details in the environment that we do not, and may get fixated on those details (thus, blocking all else out of their attention span and appearing to be “spaced out”).
Why do many kids with autism . . .Have trouble with transitions
Emily: This relates to the way a brain affected by autism works – being less flexible than other brains. When it is fixated on something that it finds enjoyable, it has a hard time “flexing” to allow for new tasks or information to come in. It needs time and many reminders to switch to a new topic.
We’d like to thank our providers for taking a stab at answering some of the more perplexing questions about why kids with autism do some of the things they do. This may help those of us who love someone with autism to describe and explain our kids’ behavior and allow others to understand them better.
I just love how this is written. We all have very different interpretations of similar behaviors. This is a very, very important article. I can’t wait to share this with my family, friends, and community. There is a lot to be learned here. As a parent of a child with ASD, I completely tune out, or just barely glance over articles about theories as to what is happening and why. I want practical information. Everyone is always looking to me to interpret theories. It is so difficult to put these ideas into words, but you have very effectively done so. Thank you so much for sharing this, Lynn!
Very informative article ~ the variety of interpretations is helpful. Our 2.5 yr old son is being evaluated soon ~ you’ve answered some questions for me already! Thanks !
This is awesome! Thank you for giving me something I can easily pass onto my friends or inform my son’s peers, and for the reminders you give me! Though I’m a tad bit bummed you didn’t know the explanation for sleep lol 😉
My son takes colodine a very low dose to sleep and seems to work great!He is turning 4 and has been taking this for 3 years now and also liked the article.
Have you tried melatonin? I’m autistic myself, and I have a lot of trouble getting more than 5 hours of sleep. Melatonin is great in my opinion, since it’s natrually released in the brain anyway.
As an adult with autism, here are my answers:
Why do many kids with autism . . . Avoid eye contact
-because it’s too hard to pay attention to what the person’s saying and look at them at the same time. You can either make eye contact or hear what they’re saying
Why do many kids with autism . . . Cover their eyes/face /ears with their hands
-too much sensory input
Why do many kids with autism . . . Startle easily
-because you’re busy thinking about something else besides your immediate environment
Why do many kids with autism . . .Echo/repeat words/phrases
-neurotypical people do this all the time, except they rephrase what they have to say. Just listen to any conversation. You repeat yourself over and over because what you have to say is important. It’s the same in this case, or
-you don’t understand what was said to you, so repeating helps you figure out what it means
-you associate a situation/feeling with a lump of words, so you repeat them to express your feelings
Why do many kids with autism . . .Not talk at all
(I don’t have any input, I’m communicative)
Why do many kids with autism . . .Walk on their toes
-because it’s painful to walk without shoes
Why do many kids with autism . . .Flap their hands
-it’s a way to release emotion, like when you get excited or nervous
Why do many kids with autism . . .Like to spin and jump
-it’s relaxing
Why do many kids with autism . . .Have difficulty sitting still
-it’s the same as hand flapping
Why do many kids with autism . . .Fixate on certain things (such as little things – tiny photo on a big page of a book or wheel of a big toy car)
-Emily’s answer
Why do many kids with autism . . .Not seem to need much sleep
(no input here)
Why do many kids with autism . . .Stare into space
-when you’re visualizing something or thinking about something, you forget where you’re staring
-something got your attention
(basically both Shelley and Emily’s answers)
Why do many kids with autism . . .Have trouble with transitions
-it’s very stressful to deviate from a routine. It’s comforting to know your schedule and what to expect next
Well done Owen! It is shocking to me that the NT world (even parents of ASD children) continue to believe that they can best describe how someone with ASD feels or why they do what they do. On average, ASD individuals are at least as intelligent as NT individuals. Why not ask them if you really want the correct answers?
Jabber – I would LOVE to be able to ask adults with ASD all of my questions about my ASD child, but I don’t know any, so I rely on input that I can get from the resources I have; which is how I ended up here after asking Google a question. If there’s some forum where I can take part in such conversations with AS adults who won’t treat me like I’m an idiot for asking questions, by all means, please, please, please lead me there! Thanks so much!!
Thanks Owen for your perspective. My son is 5 1/2. He finally started talking a bit and has most traits except he sleeps well and doesn’t walk on his toes. He repeats what I ask him and I first thought he’s echoing, but, quickly found out to pause my wanting an immediate response for about 10 seconds, then he does eventually provide an answer back! He is still such a repeater of games, interests, and words/phrases. We always try to broaden his choices by introducing something “new-new” and “different”. He likes these words and are often open to the possibilities. He likes planning and being certain of things. He’ll confirm, “first, we eat pizza, then second we go to the park”…this is great, but, I try to challenge his memory and push the limits more by adding, ” after we play at the park, we’ll head to the grocers and pick up foods we need for dinner and later, grandma’s coming after dinner to visit.” He’s awesome with keeping tabs. Sometimes, we may have to stray from our “to-do” list and going eye-to-eye with him and explaining it goes over very well. We are definitely more thoughtful about our actions with him around because he does have a level of unpredictability, still. As for his “hopping/jumping”, which he does, we have limited that “excercise” for home or any private space. He gets extremely excited by water fountains and if you add in lights and music like a Las Vegas show, he’s a hopping-mess. But, our little guy is negotiating with us so well, that most of his “quirks” can be relegated to private use. We allow him to enjoy hopping, jumping, squeaky-voicing, loud talking, even encourage it, but at home and maybe in the car too. Sometimes, we join in because it’s fun and happy times and we are all together, goofing-off!
Quick question Owen. About safety. When do you remember understanding danger like running across a street with cars or falling off a high balcony? Or concept of strangers?
Dear, thank you so much for sharing. I am interested with the part that you mention that you limit his repetitive movement like jumping at home only. My daughter flap her hand when she is angry. How do I limit that to home?
Loved your answers Owen
As a mom of someone who is on the spectrum, I really value hearing from adults on the spectrum. Thank you for taking the time to answer each question so well.
I work in s Sped care center. I have a mod-severe autistic non- verbal student. He toe walks, even in shoes. I can’t ask him why, of course. Interestingly, he has an identical twin with very similar autism, who does not toe walk, even when barefoot.
Thanks Owen. And thank everyone else plus this page for the info. I am a father of a 2 year old who was recently diagnosed with ASD. I had been pushing for early intervention from 16 month old when she wasn’t walking. This second time I was stronger. I am learning alot from the therapy provided to her. I am reading and investigating like if I was in university all over again. I love my angel and she is perfect! Everyday is a miracle!
Thank you for your input, I now have changed my way of doing things with my child, you have been very informative thank you so much
Thank you sooo much for your easy and somewhat comforting answers. Did you said you are an autistic adult yourself. In that case I have so much to ask you. I have very little knowledge about autism and m still learning about it as my child is recently diagnosed with ASD and I am finding answers and worrying about his future. So far I only read negative and heartbreaking accounts about people with ASD but after reading your answer, I have suddenly become hopeful. Many thanks and cheers.. Isha
Thank you for , should I say.. (clearing up) or correcting so many of those answers!!! I’m a mother of a 3yr old boy w asd, I only have known about his diagnosis for about 4 months, however when I found out about it, I Jarrell him to myself in any and all information I could find, most of it coming from parents of children on the spectrum, or YouTube videos of young adults or teenagers on the spectrum. I wish there were more children or adults, it doesn’t matter, just people in general on the spectrum being asked all these questions that most people think for right away, let me ask my pediatrician or another doctor, professional. Most of the valuable information I have received came not from any doctor, but online from other parents who have tried it all, and it seems most everyone had the same opinion. I’m not going to say don’t listen to the doctors, but listen more to the children and the people experiencing these issues firsthand with a front row seat. My son is doing so much better, none of it can I say is thanks to anything that came from any of his doctors or healthcare professionals. All of which is coming from me getting down on the floor, playing with him, figuring out his sensory problems and issues, and dealing with them. unfortunately, most the answers to these questions are either wrong or just barely hitting the tip of the idea, most of them seem like assumptions to what seems like the logical answer, but that is the one thing about autism I learned first. You must think outside the box with ever single thing!! The one thing that changed my son the most, is when I realized his sensory issues, and that he wasn’t just being a brat or whining because he didn’t want the diaper changed, he was literately in agony every time I wait him with a cold rough baby wipe was like wiping an open burn wound with sandpaper. So it makes sense now why he was kicking me every time, and there I was yelling no! No kicking. It’s like saying, let me hurt you and just sit there and do nothing. once I figured out what I was doing wrong, I fixed it and my son is much happier, and so on my and we are on the road to him hopefully being just like every other child out there, I truly believe with all my heart that is his future as long as we keep on this road the way we are now, and a listen, listen, listen to that child .. And always always ask, the child’s first, address the child, even if they are nonverbal, talk to them as if they are, because just because their nonverbal doesn’t mean they are deaf or mentally challenged/retarded, they understand everything mentally, So talk to them just as you would an older person who’s losing their hearing. Well I think I said way more than enough, and this is all coming from the parents of a child or Hutchison, so again, go directly to that child and ask him, you sign language, these pictures.. Use his or her toys to act out things, you would be surprised what they may be able to show you given the proper tools and information on how to use that magnificent brain they have. 80% of our worlds greatest inventions came from or started from the artistic mind. That’s a fact.
Thank a lot for your detailed information. I am in same boat as exactly as u described…came to know all these things in this week. I am just angry at world right now and everything seems blank to me .came across this page and felt helpful and your comment especially.
❤
Thanks. Helpful.
Thank you Owen, you are so well versed and I appreciate the input from your point of view. After reading your answers I asked my 19 year old with ASD why he has troubled looking at me . He said its because of the movies in his head. He has to watch them to tell me what he knows. I love having this insight, it helps me be a more patient and productive parent.
Thanks Owen,
Love hearing from the real deal.
Thank you own that was much easier for me to under stand my 2 year ok. Was just diagnosed with autism thanks again
Christina
Good reply Owen
Thanks Owen for adding your perspective… my toddler is 2 and we have not evaluated him yet for ADHD vs ASD. He doesn’t talk, is fidgety , can count up to 10, recite alphabets … spot animals etc walks on his toes but also likes to meet and run around with kids. Not sure how the evaluation actually helps as I read across the internet that kids without ASD/ADHD, or with ADHD and ASD the answer seems to be to put in more time with them and give them social situations and interactions … he should be able to improve …
Thanks for your comments on our blog about kids with autism and common behaviors. While we are not able to give clinical advice, we do encourage to share with your child’s primary care provider, any delays or concerns you observe with your child. There are benefits to an assessment to rule out autism (or any other developmental delays) including your child possibly qualifying for early intervention services to address any delays. ADD and ASD are quite different. You might ask yourself if there is a good reason not to have an evaluation. Your child’s PCP can refer you for evaluation.
i realllllllllly like this website. and i also like owens response. i am writing a research paper for my class, and i absolutley thought that your website has had the best responnses!!
I have been told and have noticed that kids with disabilities and autism they flap because they are happy and I have seen that happen when ever they get a present or have a lot of fun or go somewhere special so I have comprehended that they flap when they are happy an also what Emily said they hit/hurt themselves because there brain isn’t very flexible so they get frustrated and that is my opinion for this topic
I am an adult on the spectrum who personally experiences almost all of the questions. I dont need to read the answers to know why. I know exactly why i do things. But i read it to see how well THEY know why and i can tell you they did a great job!! Yes some answers are both things. For example: Like sometimes I’ve repeated things because i couldn’t come up with my own words and sometimes it was my way of saying yes i hear you and reinforcing it into my mind.
Nice job folks. Thank you for understanding and sharing the truth!! -Jen
I’ve noticed many kids and adults on the autism spectrum have speech impediments–ie, not pronouncing “r” sounds correctly. I haven’t been able to find any information about why this is. My only theory is that many typical kids also have speech impediments but eventually are able to adapt their speech and people with autism might not notice or see any importance that there is a difference in their pronunciation.
My son is 3 his name is Rocky. He refers to himself as Gocky
my son is 8 and has autism…he can communicate he fits almost all these questions to a T… I was surprised yet almost relieved to find on another website that stomping is also a autism behavior,I was always after Dylan for stomping mainly because we live on the third floor but after reading I understand it is normal for autism…my newest question is do autistic children eat with there hands? Dylan does not use intensis I believe he could he has the motor skills I believe but chooses to scoop food up with hands and eat it…it’s ok and no harm done but curiousbifbyhis is a autism behavior ?
I will venture to guess that, yes, this is typical behavior of those who seek tactile stimulation – they are curious about the texture and the way food feels in their hands; and that it’s just a normal instinct to get the food into the mouth. It took some time for me to teach my 7 year old to use utensils. I don’t have a problem with her using her hands, but I felt she should have the motor skills developed to do so. She pretty much chooses now, when she wants to use utensils versus hands, and she’s picking up on social cues as well, when to use utensils versus eating spaghetti with her fingers in a restaurant whereas at home, she’ll use her fingers. Whatever gets her through the day, so long as she isn’t hurting anyone else, right? Now she’s using a knife to help make her own peanut butter sandwiches, so that’s cool, too.
Your son is 8 years old and has the ability(motor planning) to use a fork or spoon then he should be. Bad habits will be harder to break as he ages and he is a young man now. What will he do when he is 20, 30, 40?
Hello Kelly! This is my first time on here and I just happen to glance at your comment. My son is 8 and he has high functioning autism and he’s capable of eating with utensils too, he eats with his hands all the time though.I found it very interesting that he knows how to use the utensils and they are there in front of him, yet he will prefer to use his hands to eat! After reading your comment, maybe it is an autism behavior. Hmmmm. He truly makes me appreciate everything around me! It was nice to meet you!
Maybe it is the taste or smell of the spoon. If the utensils are plastic, try metal or if they are metal, try plastic. Try different types of metals or plastics or even other materials.
I stopped reading immediately after the eye contact paragraph. Clearly, that answer is pure speculation. You have no idea how annoying it is to those of us who are on the spectrum to watch all of you who aren’t try to answer anything about the matter.
We do not make eye contact not because it’s painful or a sensory overload or because there a purple boogey-men in the closet, but because we are looking at the picture or movie in our head. We can look at your eyes when YOU talk. The problem (if there were a problem) with looking you in the eye when WE speak is that we cannot look at your face and the picture of our memory at the same time.
We think in pictures and videos, so to speak. If I asked you to look at a painting and tell me every single detail you see, but then told you to look me in the eye whilst telling me those details, could you do it? Probably not. Same thing. I have to look at my memory to tell you what I see. Your face is a distraction.
So, am I right in thinking that you have trouble focusing on more than one form of visual input at a time? Or, are you subtly suggesting that you view looking at a face as just another form of visual input and don’t understand which conflicting visual image should be salient? Since looking at someone’s face when they are talking primarily serves a social function, it seems you are misunderstanding this purpose by treating it as just another form of visual input when it should take precedence, at least if one wants to communicate in an effective social manner.
Thank you Jensee. This explanation gives me some insight into my sons life. We (his mother and I) are trying to help him deal with the outside world. He is 17 and lost a close uncle in a traumatic set of circumstances. His doctors tell us he had a mental breakdown, since then he has regressed in every area. He is verbal. The thing he is having the most trouble with now is nervousness which causes him to spiral out into angrily stomping on the floor and biting his hand.
Do you have any advice for us on the anger?
Thank you for your time
Matt’s Dad
Jensee, thank you for your response. You opened my eyes as to what my son might be dealing with, he is 19 months old. If I may, I would like to ask you this question. My son doesn’t speak words at this point, however he moans when he wants something, do you have any insight on this?
Hi my name is Kristin I’m a 21 year old female with high functioning autism and I just want to say you guys did very well with most of these questions at least from my personal experience with autism
Hi Kristin. I have a niece, whose name is Kristina, and she is highly likely to have autism (now she is 20 m.o.). She is walking on toes. Do you remember, whether you walked on toes and when you stopped doing that? Thanks in advance.
Sasha
My son is around 10 Y old, and recently we noticed that he is jerking the hand, The frequency is almost every 10 minutes one jerk,
Anyone knows any on information on this will be helpful.
I have a 5 year old on the spectrum. I was really confused by some of his behaviors until I spoke with my (also spectrum) younger sister. Here is an observation of hers that improves my son’s day:
No tags on shirts or pants.
No “scratchy” fabrics, I.E., cotton only, synthetics feel bad.
No seamed socks, or lumpy socks.
These changes have helped, also an awareness of food textures. Some foods feel bad in the mouth of an autistic person.
With all of that said, here are some thoughts on the prior list:
1: eye contact-is difficult during times of stress, but is improving
2: covers ears-yes, during loud sounds or high pitches
3: startles easily- yes
4:echo/repeat phrases-yes, often
5: not talk at all-N/A
6: walk on toes-often, b/c the “floor is scratchy”
7 & 8-flap/spin/jump-yes, during extreme emotion
9: sitting still-possible during times of focused concentration
10: fixate-yes, because of interest in gears, ect
11: sleep- he sleeps well and is worn out at night
12: stares into space- yes
13: trouble w/ transitions- yes. Always.
My question: why do they put objects close to their eyes and stare at them? Pencils, toys, etc.
Our church is working with a 7 year old boy that has autism. He is making himself vomit, while in class. What would cause that, and what can you do to help him ?
Hi Frances, that is a good question. We would recommend checking in with his parents about your concern. This may be something they are already aware of, but maybe it isn’t and they may want to check in with his primary care doctor about it.
Hello 🙂 I am a mother of six, one being autistic. Has 90% of the steerotypes and is labeled non-verbal in his evaluations. He has difficulty expressing himself through words, so it is difficult for us to know what is always going on. IE: Pulling his ear and repetitive complaining of pain. I didn’t see anything but he felt the need to go to doctor. He is 10 (my apologies). After scheduling him an appointment and assuming it to be a ear ache, the doctor found it was merely a black head on the upper edge of his outer ear. I felt ignorant, but with that in mind, and regards to your dilemmma, my son also sticks his finger down his throat. Sometimes he’d throw up, and other times I would just tell him to stop. Turns out after taking him to the ENT, he had been pulling out tonsil stones. I am not autistic myself nor an expert, but it could possibly be an issue with his throat. Hope everything works out 🙂 #One truly blessed family!
Lots of children on spectrum have GI issues. Keep a running log of times he vomits what he ate if he lies down especially without propping his head up this could cause him to vomit. Always bring it up with the pediatrician, I learned this being the mom of two children on spectrum now 16 and 19. Good Luck
my daughter had vomiting problem anywhere she went I was sure she was afraid of places I took her same places again and again so the problem was gone but now she has been diago with autism and doctor explained to me it was anxiety with autism.
My brother has Autism and he gets annoyed when I sing somthing other that Disney, but if I sing Disney he sings along and waves his hands in the air, why?
That’s a great question Amiliea! We are working a part 2 for this blog and will pass your question along to our providers to see if they know. Thanks!
Amelia, my 7yo son is also doing this in the last month. He objected to us singing or playing any songs other than wiggles songs which he is really into at the moment. I asked him and he answered that those songs distract the wiggles song he had in his head. I think he meant that other songs could potentially replace the song thats playing in his head and he didnt like that to happen. Maybe its like us when we hear a song, we catch it in our head and it could be stuck in our mind.
Great info from everyone! A special thanks from
Those on the spectrum who voiced their opinions!
I am autistic, 60 years old. Why is this about children? Oh, it’s a children’s organization.
I still do many of these things. I don’t think I have ever stopped.
Autism articles ought not imply it is a childhood condition. It lasts until the end. My dad was hand flapping until the day he died at 85.
Hi Michael,
Yes, we are a children’s hospital. Thank you though, for the reminder that children with autism grow up to be adults with autism.
We are working on a sequel to this blog and hope to answer the question about the long-term nature of the habits and mannerisms that many have. I know my daughter at 18 still does many of the same things she did as a toddler. Stay tuned for more and do share your thoughts and experiences with us.
Hi,
Is it common for children with autism to get pleasure out of watching things fall. I have a few red flags with my 2 year old, and one thing I am not sure about (mainly coz it hasn’t be mentioned in any articles) is my child will spend forever picking up stones, bark, sand…. dropping it just above eye level and watching it fall.
Any suggestions ??
Lorie
Hi Lorie,
Thank you for your question. We are planning to post a part two of “Why Do Kids With Autism Do That?” very soon and will try to have our authors address this. In the meantime, it is always appropriate to share your concerns with your child’s primary care provider.
Thanks!
Hi Lori, my son was diagnosed 6 years ago, and when he was a littler guy, he did this same thing. I would take him to the park and he would dig in the mulch or dirt and let it run through his hands.. he refused to do anything else at the park. He did grow out of it though.. he is 9 now, and plays on swings and slides now!
Do children with Autism grow out of certain behaviours or keep them for life? My son loves fans and spinning things, washing machines especially, will this move on to something else?
my son is 8 and has autism…he can communicate he fits almost all these questions to a T… I was surprised yet almost relieved to find on another website that stomping is also a autism behavior,I was always after Dylan for stomping mainly because we live on the third floor but after reading I understand it is normal for autism…my newest question is do autistic children eat with there hands? Dylan does not use intensis I believe he could he has the motor skills I believe but chooses to scoop food up with hands and eat it…it’s ok and no harm done but curiousbifbyhis is a autism behavior ?
Hi Larry,
Great question! We have passed your question along to Dr. Emily Rastall. The last Friday of each month, look for her column here on The Autism Blog, “Ask Dr. Emily“, where she will answer questions submitted by our readers.
I have a 6yr old son with the spectrum. It’s getting really difficult to take him out in public due to noises, crowds. it’s been almost a year he started with the ear covering really bad. We will be out somewhere and he’ll just start having a meltdown completely stop where we’re at and yell at me to cover his ears along with his hands. He pushes my hands really tight along with his, it just breaks my heart. We started using the sound proof headphones its helps but still doesn’t want to go anywhere. He is so obsessed with tape,paper basically any craft material. He pays no mind to any of his toys, it’s always building something for him. What concerns me know is him inside this big brown box, he always wants to be in it even want to take to his bed and put it on top of him. Is this a stage or will it just get worse?
Hi Elizabeth,
Thanks for your question! We have passed your question along to Dr. Emily Rastall. The last Friday of each month, look for her column here on The Autism Blog, “Ask Dr. Emily“, where she will answer questions submitted by our readers.
It may be that he is seeking input that the box is giving him. He may also be attached to the box as a transitional object that makes him feel safe. Just a thought from a mom with two children on spectrum.
I found this very informative! As an adult with autism, even I don’t know the reasons for many of my behaviors. It was nice seeing some perspective into what some of these reasons might be.
A comment I have about eye contact is that I think the main reason I avoid eye contact is that I don’t know when it’s appropriate. I don’t know how much eye contact to give, or if I should be giving it at all. I worry about staring, and making the other person uncomfortable. But I’m also worried that not giving eye contact will seem rude. As I’ve grown up, I feel like I’ve gotten better at giving eye contact if someone is speaking directly to me, but it still makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.
Thanks so much Avery, for sharing your thoughts. As a very shy kid, I found it painful to look people in the eye. My natural instinct was to look down or away. Thanks for helping others to know that we can work on what’s challenging for us. My best to you!
Lynn
I would like to know as to why do children with autism want to be combative when I say “no they have to leave some food for their brother or sister(this is after 4 applesauce cups)” I’m a nanny and have taken care of many autistic children since my grandson is autistic and have noticed that when they reach 10-11 years old, they start pushing the envelope by attacking or pushing me. I do stay calm and stay in control and tell them that they have to share but shoving and pushing continues?
Hi Virginia, thanks for your questions. Stay tuned for Ask Dr. Emily, the last Friday of each month, where Dr. Emily answers questions sent to us by our readers. We have sent this question to her.
Stick too just one then your done. If they are a bigger kid “you had two now your through.” In a nice or silly tone always being consistent and making sure parents follow through. It works with visual reminders as well.
Why our kids stare inpto space. My son is now in his 30’s. He is high functioning. The ability to stare into space is similar to a mediation state. Average people pay big money to learn how to achieve this. Our kids do it naturally. It is a restful state making up for lack sleep. Keep all stimulus low no matter how old your kids are.
My son is going to 7 next month he has been diahnosed. With ADHD n autism….. Non verbal child …….why some times he cries like anything n we are not able to make put what is wrong with him he just want to be in car n car should not stop even on signals or on the swing whole day n night……he can cry for whole day ….tried visiting doctors so that may be they can help they said may be his stomach is not well gave him antibiotics n colic pain medicines …but still no relief……after that an ultrasound was done which was perfectly normal. What should we do because here in India we very limited n poor knowledge about autism …..more than help.people will try to avoid u including some so called doctors……pl do have I idea for this situation to help my son…..how should I know what is the problem or need of my son I m so helpless can u pls guide….
Hi Sitesh,
This is a great question. We have passed it along to Dr. Emily Rastall who will try to answer it this Friday in our Ask Dr. Emily blog.
My girlfriends 5 year old daughter has all the symptoms of autism. it putting a strain on me because she doesnt or want to see that her daughter has an issue. how do I come out to her?
Hi Michael,
We have passed your question along to one of psychologists named Emily Rastall. She will try to answer you in this month’s Ask Dr. Emily blog.
Do autism adults experience the same traits as autism children? Will an autism adult take two hours to eat a pop tart while sitting at a table? Are they slow eaters?
Hi Selma,
That is a good question. We are sharing it with Dr. Emily Rastall and will try to answer it in October’s Ask Dr. Emily blog. Thanks for reading!
Great article! Our son was waking up at 3:30 am and waking up the entire house with him. No one was getting sleep and every one was unhappy. At the suggestion of a dietician, we reversed the order of food we gave him. We start the day with fruits (smoothie form), then add vegetables. We avoid all animal fats until 3 PM. The theory had something to do with acid build up and the way the kidneys and liver digested the food (in my sleep deprived state, I can’t remember the specifics).
Within a few days, 3:30 am became 4:45 am, then 5:30. Now, most mornings, he sleeps until 6:30-7 am. If you’re at the end of your rope, and if you were like us you are, maybe give it a try.
Thanks for finally writing about >Why Do Kids With Autism Do That?
<Liked it!
Nice replies in reyurn of this difficulty with genuine arguments and
describing all on the topic of that.
Thank you Owen!
I have two neighbors and a nephew with autism. A common characteristic is walking. They will pace or go for walks up and down the driveway, hallway in home, around the block, etc. Does walking help self-regulate or is it because they are bored?
Hi Wendy,
Thanks for your question on walking. We’ve sent it to Dr. Emily. Stay tuned for her reply.
My 3 year old son has autism and he just started school and as soon as we get there he covers his ears and sometimes hums also while covering his ears and he also starts to not let me change his diaper i was wondering if anyone knows why he does these things just since he started school about 3 weeks ago
Hi my 3 year old daughter is autistic and I’m still learning about her every day but I’m curious as to why she has to walk around objects that are up against a wall or table or even her younger brother’s toys that are on the floor like she has to walk around a table and chairs but the chairs will be under the table and if you pull them out for her to walk around then she gets upset
Hi Jolene,
We’ve asked Dr. Emily to answer your question in her monthly post so that others with similar questions can learn too. Thanks for asking!
I have a 5 year old daughter on the ASD spectrum. She can repeat what u say though not clear and has mastered some questions thus she will answer when asked e.g her name, age, name of her school e.t.c. Do you think she will speak spontaneously I.e communicate on her own.
My nephew was diagnosed with autism. I love my little guy so much, i want to learn everything so i can understand him. This is the most amazing blog, i really learned so much here in this blog. He is 3 years old, what really surprises me so much is that he makes eye contact he actually stares into my eyes for a good amount of time than he hugs me. He doesn’t have trouble expressing his feelings at all. I believe that by comunicating well with him is key for his development every different task, every change in routine has to always be well explained that is what i always do. I hope it helps others. Excuse my spelling my english is not my first language.
Thanks so much Violet for the kind words. We’re glad you find our blog meaningful. Your nephew is lucky to have such a caring aunt! Our best to you and yours.
It’s very good to know about children who are autistic as my brother is too autistic . Thank you so much ………..
Thank you for following The Autism Blog and for your comment, Hifza. Our best to you and your brother.
As a 17 year old on the spectrum, here’s my explanation for why we do these things:
Avoid eye contact – It is a little overstimulating to look at another’s eyes and talk at the same time, and we often think in pictures, making eye contact even harder for us.
Cover their eyes/face /ears with their hands – Over-stimulation, ’nuff said
Startle easily – Part of it has to do with sensory sensitivity, while the other part is getting lost in thoughts and suddenly getting startled by a loud noise which wakes you up from the thoughts.
Echo/repeat words/phrases – It helps me understand what was said and also because it’s quite hard for me to paraphrase it.
Not talk at all – Getting absorbed in the mind while feeling over-stimulated causes this I believe. I do talk but not very often, and when I don’t talk when around people is often due to the aforementioned reason. I also have difficulty in understanding conversations much of the time.
Walk on their toes – Sensory sensitivities (the floor might feel too cold for my heel to be comfortable or the texture might be uncomfortable).
Flap their hands – Being excited or stressed makes us do this and we do this because it releases pressure and feels good.
Like to spin and jump – Same reason as hand flapping
Have difficulty sitting still – Also the same reason as hand flapping and spinning/jumping. But, can also be caused by the need for stimulation or over-stimulation (like the chair’s texture being uncomfortable).
Fixate on certain things (such as little things – tiny photo on a big page of a book or wheel of a big toy car) – Kind of hard to answer… I think it’s because it is attractive or I keep having recurring and obsessive thoughts about the certain thing.
Not seem to need much sleep – Sensory processing affects sleep too, and noises in the environment and surroundings cause difficulty in sleeping, as well as the need for stimulation (like what causes the difficulty sitting still). A very quiet room helps a little but the latter reason still makes sleeping a bit tough for us. I think we will do best in a quiet room and with very tight blankets with a comfortable texture.
Stare into space – Daydreaming/obsessive thoughts often cause this, which makes us not aware we are staring into space.
Have trouble with transitions – We need a routine to feel comfortable, and the trouble comes when that routine is broken by some sudden transition.
Steve, we so appreciate your insight! Thanks for taking the time to share with us. I’m sure it will help others to have a glimpse into how our kids experience the world. Thank you!
About the sleeping, which I am infamous for in my family; Even now, at 24, it is probably the number one obstacle in my daily life, falling asleep. It can take up to 4-5 hours some days, from I get into bed till I lose cosnciousness.
It’s rather simple, really. I am thinking. SO. MUCH. in those hours. And I do have a theory why – in the dark, with nothing but my own thoughts, and no sensory distractions I am finally able to completely delve into my own head and unpack all the stimuli of the day.
Interestingly, it is a fact that the environment that I find the most sleep-inducing is a bright-to-softly-lit room with relatively loud (rock!?) music playing and chatting voices in the background. A safe but slightly overwhelming environment, that makes me unable to focus on anything but taking in the sensory information and get out of my head!
Thanks for sharing your insight on sleep, Thaleia. That makes a lot of sense!
I want to second the unpacking. I also go over all my horrible social interactions. My daughters boss thinks I’m rude. I can’t change her perception, because I freeze up around people. I’ll think about the encounter for about five years. Ugh
Thank you to everyone for your input comments and questions, thanks especially to those of you who are on the spectrum to help us understand why certain things happen. I admire you for your strength and perseverance in what has to sometimes be a very confusing place.
This information is very interesting, practical and easy to relate to. Reading the comments of adults with ASD, starting with Owen, made it all the more interesting. I’ve read every opinion which will help me to understand my 3yo who is not speaking spontaneously but repeats phrases. He makes eye contacts, doesnt toe walk, doesnt stomp, or any of the other stuff. Except, he has started biting his nails and the skin on his fingers and most recently, he covers his eyes when you tell him to stop doing something he shouldnt do, like touching an object he shouldnt touch. He counts up to 15 and can says abc (up to the letter g) but he will not answer questions or form his own sentences. He says: I wanna watch TV and…. I finish (eating or peeing)…. But nothing more complex than that. He has an appt to be evaluated but I was just wondering what others might have to say.
I’m have ASD, and am an adult.
Why do Autistic children need little sleep?
For me the answer is that I need a lot of sleep, a lot more than I often get. I have trouble getting to sleep, if I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes I am fully awake, my mind races. It can be exhausting, but when I do sleep properly I might conk out for 12 of more hours.
Why do Autistic children walk on their toes?
It could be foot sensitivity, the ball heel of my feet is more sensitive than the ball and toes, but the arch is even more sensitive.
It could also be a balance issue. Autistics may learn to walk like that early on as it is easy to balance.
When I am sober I walk normally. But when drunk I often walk on tip toes. A friend pointed this out to me years ago. She said she could tell when I was drunk because I walked on my toes.
Thanks Martin for the insight. Much appreciated!
I have a 4.5 year old son- He is a nonverbal autistic boy. He has recently began echoing words which gives me hope that he will someday talk. Before the echoing started I was very concerned as to whether my son would ever speak. I long for the day he says “Mommy” =) I did a search online asking the question – What causes an autistic person to not be able to speak and came across a blog page written by a non verbal autistic teenager named Henry. Henry writes to help other non verbal autistics. He writes to be the voice for them in hopes to reach parents and caretakers. He wants them to understand in hopes that they will be more informed and use his explanations in understanding the why’s. He also writes to be a voice in the effort to end negativity about autism. Here is his explanation of why he does not speak.
Many times I say nonsensical things like, “Larry boy!” or “Go back to green house!” and I repeat it many times for no reason. I hear myself and think, boy, I sound ridiculous; and I wish I could stop but I have no control.
When people ask me things I know exactly what I want to say, but there is an ever-present blockade between my brain and my mouth. It is extremely frustrating as you can imagine.
Reading blogs from Henry has made a huge difference in the way I interact with my son and noticed an immediate satisfaction to my changes from my son. I am always looking to learn as much as I can about the different ways/things each autistic person experiences in their world of being autistic. This website has been a very informative page in my journey to understand. Thank you all so much for sharing your stories and your experience. I am excited to read more as others share as well. <3
Can you please give me some directions on where to look to be able to learn about the symbols that they use when they are in their hands and excitement and jumping up and down my friend has a child he’s autistic and I would like to learn more about it and his mannerisms so that maybe I can communicate with him
Hi Jean,
Thanks for your question and for wanting to connect with your friend’s child. The best way to learn this is to ask the parents! Your friend will be able to give you ideas specific to her child. Our best to you!
Lynn