Last week we talked about some of the things parents reported as being not helpful. This week we thought it would be useful, given how many people our in our children’s lives, to have a way to share some of the most important information about them. Below is a template that might be helpful.
A Letter to My Child’s Provider….
(Today’s Date)
Dear (Doctor, Teacher, Therapist),
I’m writing to you because I know you are busy, work with many children, and don’t have time to read volumes of specific information about my child. And whether you are new to my child or have worked with (him/her) for years, I bet you will find in this note something you didn’t know!
First, I want you to know that (child’s name) is (age) years old and was diagnosed with autism (number of months or years) ago. Getting this diagnosis was not easy for our family. With your help, we are doing the best we can to help (child’s name) learn and grow.
(Child’s name) communicates by (specifics of child’s communication).
(Child’s name) can easily get overwhelmed with too much sensory input such as bright lights, loud noises, and strong scents. (He/She) can also become unsettled in unfamiliar settings and when having to wait. (Child’s name) does best with predictability and structure so change is difficult.
Some things that are very hard for (Child’s name) include (specifics for that particular provider such as looking in his ears or at his throat).
Some clues that (Child’s name) is getting upset include (describe what child says/does/looks like when anxious or irritable).
Some things that help (Child’s name) to calm down include (specific things to say or do).
(Child’s name) needs help with the following: (specifics for each provider/setting).
The things I worry about most with (Child’s name) are (specific safety issues or concerns).
Some things I would like you to watch out for and let me know about include: (specifics you want to be informed about).
(Child’s name) is a great teacher! Some things I know you will learn from (him or her) include:
Thank you for taking time to read about (Child’s name). It means a lot to us to know we are important to you!
With gratitude,
(Your signature)
Just wanted to say I think this is wonderful. I already filled one out for my son’s appt in early January with his psychiatrist. Thank you!
Dec 24, 2013
Re: Arthur XXXXX
DOB: X/XX/XX
Dear Dr. Parker,
I’m writing to you because I know you are busy, work with many children, and don’t have time to read volumes of specific information about my child. Even though you have worked with Arthur for years, I bet you will find in this note something you didn’t know.
First, I want you to know that Arthur is now 14 years old and was diagnosed with autism at age 2. Getting this diagnosis was not easy for our family. With your help, we are doing the best we can to help Arthur learn, grow, regulate and enjoy his life.
Arthur has limited use of language. He can respond to simple questions and usually takes 5-8 seconds to respond in one to three word answers. The majority of the time, Arthur will not respond to his name or to questions. Please be persistent and allow him time to process and resond. We recommend getting his attention and then asking questions. Arthur can read but we are unsure of his comprehension.
Arthur can easily get overwhelmed with too much sensory input such as bright lights and loud noises. He can also become unsettled in unfamiliar settings and when having to wait or if what is expected of him is not clear. Arthur does best with predictability and structure so change is difficult. We use visual schedules to prepare him for transitions and to ease him through his day.
Some things that are very hard for Arthur include answering questions, staying focused, sitting still, unexpected change in routine, stopping a preferred activity without warning, and unfamiliar situations.
Some clues that Arthur is getting upset include scripting (saying a word or phrase over and over again), pacing, loud vocalizations, pinching his chest or arms, squeezing arms of others, kicking, hitting, knocking things over, running, flopping to the ground, and screaming.
Some things that help Arthur to calm down include using First/Then strategy (first lunch, then computer), deep pressure on his shoulders or arms, remove from situation, replace or distract with preferred item, putty to squeeze, use visual cues to better understand feeling (you are sad, mad, angry, etc), and allow quiet space to decompress.
The things I worry about most with Arthur are his safety (he sometimes bolts away from me and does not know how to cross the street safely), his unpredictable behavioral outbursts, and I worry about his future. Who will care for him with the love, respect and dignity later in his life?
I need and rely on your expertise when helping Arthur decrease anxiety, regulate behaviors and control aggression.
Arthur is a great teacher! He holds a mirror up to society. He expands our definition of what it means to be “normal” and the boy often brings out the best in others.
Thank you for taking time to read about Arthur. It means a lot to us to know we are important to you!
With gratitude,
Arthur’s parents
Katrina and Ned
This is beautifully written, Katrina! Thanks for sharing how you will use it to update Arthur’s doctor.