- Illustration by Leigh Rubes
Let’s admit it. Most of us have held a grudge in our life time… perhaps we are even still holding one. Why? It may be that we feel wronged by someone and think that by harboring feelings of resentment, we make him/her feel pain equal to ours. Holding a grudge may also serve a protective function, as a reminder of someone with whom we’d best maintain boundaries. It’s also possible that if we truly thought it over, we might not come up with a good reason for holding a grudge; it’s simply a remnant from a previously unresolved emotional issue.
In one episode of Northern Exposure, Chris accidentally runs over a dog and seeks out its owner. He apologies to her, falls in love with her, and then proceeds to kill her parakeet. The ending is fuzzy to me Read full post »
Today we offer some thoughts on the tendency to be critical of self and others, something that can become a habit that’s hard to break. Becoming aware of this tendency is the first step to changing it.
Becoming less critical of self and others
How often does an automatic critical thought about ourselves and others pop up in our minds?
(“I’m so . . .” “She always . . .”) Read full post »
Today we continue with learning what mindful self-compassion is and isn’t and try a simple exercise.
About Self-Compassion (from a Mindful Self-Compassion workshop with Kristin Neff, PhD)
Self-compassion is not:
- Self pity (“Woe is me; no one knows the pain I do”)
- Self esteem (Tied to what we do/achieve rather than who we are)
- Self indulgence (Short –term pleasure or escape)
- Self-kindness (Treating self with care and acceptance)
- Common humanity (“We all struggle. I am not alone.”)
- Mindfulness (Allows us to be – without suppressing or exaggerating)
Read full post »
Today will begin by defining what mindfulness is and what mindful self-compassion is, then we will be moving forward with exercises you can practice in future blogs. As we previously announced, we are going to be posting about Mindfulness on the 2nd Monday of each month.
Beginning with mindfulness…
In A Year of Living Mindfully, Richard Fields, PhD, highlights two aspects of mindfulness being: Awareness of awareness and attention to intention.
Fields also explains that, “Mindfulness is about embracing the now, good and bad. It is about not beating yourself up about lost opportunities and mistakes in the past. It is about loving and embracing the goodness in the life you have. It isn’t about pretending that all is rosy or replacing negative thoughts with positive. It’s accepting that life is full of good and bad, ups and downs, and that this is our common humanity. We all have adversity, we all have challenges. It is part of the human condition.” Read full post »
The Overstuffed Mind of Parents of Kids with Autism
When my mind gets overloaded and feels as if it will explode, I often imagine taking it off my shoulders and shaking it out the way I empty my overfilled backpack when trying to find my keys that have sunk to the bottom.
Ah, if only it were that easy.
Parents of kids with autism have minds full of stuff – the stuff of their crazy busy lives – that include so much more than the average human being. To mention just a very few of the things that simultaneously occupy the brain of said parent: therapy appointments, IEP meetings, prescription refills, data on behavior-to-hopefully-be-changed, field trips, social-skills-improving play-dates, grocery lists with the five things a persnickety kid will eat and mama/papa-needs-a-break camp applications.
And the list goes on and on. Read full post »