Guest Writer: Ben Wahl, MSW
The importance of the young adult transition is becoming more recognized within the community of providers who work with young people on the Autism Spectrum. Now if we could just increase that awareness among providers who work with young people who are not on the spectrum.
All joking aside, young people with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) are a bellwether. They struggle with the transition from high school precisely because it is a difficult process. Having worked with young adults both neuro-typical and neuro-atypical, I have observed similar challenges for both.
Society tends to cast a view that the young adult transition is a ‘launch’, a sudden shift from dependence to independence. If a young adult is not able to immediately find their path, others are often quick to pass judgment.
We have to be aware of this pressure and bring the young adult transition back into perspective. This is especially true for families with teenagers and young adults who are on the spectrum. The young adult transition is not a ‘launch’; it is a series of steps. Your child with ASD will have some unique steps in this transition process, but they also have great skills to take these steps. Think about it: your child has had a longer road through the school age years, but that also means that your child has accumulated more awareness and resiliency to navigate life after high school.
By taking a more long-term view of the young adult transition, you may find that it begins to evoke less anxiety. This is no small matter; your son or daughter will notice how you approach their transition and will view their transition accordingly.
With a new perspective on the young adult transition, we can turn our attention to the specific competencies that young people with ASD need to build as they progress towards independence and self-determination. The following concepts will be helpful as you and your child engage in the transition process.
- Identify Strengths
The young adults in our Delphi young adult program at Aspiring Youth have helped us to improve services to every client in Aspiring Youth, even our 8 year olds. One of the most important lessons these young adults have given us is the importance of identifying personal strengths. Our Delphi young adults are gaining a greater awareness of their identity and this helps them pursue appropriate education and employment opportunities. The tricky issue for young people with ASD is that this process of self-awareness often comes later than it does for their neuro-typical peers. You can help your son or daughter better understand their strengths and that is an important contribution to their transition process. If they are honing in on a specific topic or activity, acknowledge their ability to maintain a high level of focus. Catch them doing good and remind them that they possess kindness. Point out their loyalty, integrity and consistency. Then, let them know how those traits will be valued in the adult world.
- Practice Flexibility
One of the greatest differences between individuals with ASD and their peers is their challenge in being flexible and adapting to new situations. In both groups the transition to adulthood contains many uncertainties. However, the young adult with ASD will have a more difficult time adjusting to the new environment. The antidote is to try new things. While it can certainly take a lot of pre-planning for the middle school or high school student with ASD, any new setting or experience can increase the student’s ability to handle change during their post-high school experience. Taking an audited community college course on ‘Paranormal Activity’. Trying an instrument. Volunteering or interning in a business. All of these pursuits will help the student with ASD build comfort with new settings and experiences and will help prepare them for their adult life.
- Build Self-Accountability
Young people with ASD often find it difficult to identify their internal motivation. Yet in the context of preparing for the adult world, the intrinsic pride of achieving a good academic grade is more important than any concrete reward (ie, screen time) a student might earn. As providers and parents we have to take more steps to help students with ASD build internal motivation and pursue self-directed goals. The approach inherent in ABA therapy may be valid for younger clients and those more significantly impacted by ASD, but for older clients with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome, the ABA emphasis on external rewards and goals developed by the provider (and not the young person) does not build self-accountability and may actually inhibit it. Instead, we can empower ASD teenager and young adults by helping them become better connected to their own personal motivations and goals.
- Communicate and Self-Advocate
We often think of ‘social skills’ as the ability to interact with friends, but in the context of the young adult transition it takes on broader meaning. As young people with ASD approach their transition, they need to implement some of their new social skills to increase communication with professors, employers and others in the adult world. Self advocating and communicating to solve conflicts is something that we take for granted. If a teenager with ASD can practice self-advocacy with a teacher, they are building skills that will serve them well in the young adult transition. Similarly, if the teenager can identify and pursue independent social opportunities, they will be building important communication skills for the less structured social world that exists after high school.
While your child’s transition to independence may take longer than some of their peers, it is important to remember that it is not a race. The values and skills that you have helped your child build are what matter the most.
Guest Writer: Ben Wahl, MSW, is the founder and director of Aspiring Youth, which provides social skills groups, summer programs and young adult transition services.
My autistic son has a big problem with being flexible.
Really great tips for parents with kids that have autism.
My young adult autistic daughter has problems with transition in general. This issue has become a significant obstacle for her moving toward independence more now than ever. All the behavioral mod techniques i’ve used over the years no longer help and her quality of life across the board has declined. She is oppositional and resists most attempts toward independence.
There is an anxiety component that we just can’t diminish. I feel so helpless.
Thank you for your comment. That sounds like a very stressful situation, I don’t know if it helps but do know that that there are many parents of young adults who are experiencing similar situations. It may be helpful to avoid the actual term ‘independence’ when speaking with her. She probably is anxious about the idea of more independence and is therefore being avoidant. One strategy would be to give choices: if your daughter can view new activities and pursuits as ‘self-initiated’ it may ease some anxiety. We advise parents to come up with a list of activities and have the older teen/young adult choose.
-Ben Wahl, MSW
Director, Aspiring Youth Program
My HFA young adult son was not diagnosed until he went off to college and figuratively “fell off the cliff” instead of gaining independence. 4 years later, his mother and I struggle to find ways to support his independence as he struggles to go back to college. Self-regulating is a large part of his challenge and we have been in private counseling to find out how we can support him without directing his whole life. We live near Spokane and have sought any support groups or education for parents in our situation and come up with nothing. The only groups we have found are targeted towards support for low-functioning autism. Sometimes I wonder if we are the only parents who have an HFA young adult child, because I can’t seem to find anyone else to compare advice. Are there any resources in our area?
Hi Dan,
we checked with our Resource Specialist and she suggested:
The Center http://thecenterpsych.com/ (Dr. April Walters)
Autism Lifespan Yahoo Group: https://beta.groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/AutismLP/info
Aspiring Youth: Delphi Adult Group/Social Skills: http://www.aspiringyouth.net/young_adult_transition.php
Thanks!
I have the exact same problem with my 21 year old. He wants to work, go to school, join some kind of social group. But he seems to have little or no ability to self-motivate and/or not lose track of tasks and basically wander off mentally or physically from what he should be doing. I feel like I’ve tried everything and I’m at a total loss. He’s smart, and capable, but without being able to actual get up and do it, those skills are not usable.