“He did it deliberately – consciously – purposefully – willfully.”
Most parents have heard their child’s behavior described as being deliberate and may themselves wonder whether behavior is done “on purpose” or not. Often it is a disruptive behavior, such as hitting or throwing. We asked Seattle Children’s psychologist, Emily Rastall for her thoughts on the topic of intentional behavior and what tips she has to offer to parents and others seeking to better understand our kids. Here’s what she had to say:
Lynn: Why do you think there is a tendency to describe behavior as being deliberately disobedient or willfully disruptive?
Dr. Rastall: For several reasons: One, the behavior tends to cause a strong emotional reaction to the person or people on the receiving end of it. Two: It is in our human nature to want to know WHY something happens. Three: When the WHY of a behavior isn’t clear, our “default” is to think, “It must have been on purpose.”
Lynn: What are some typical scenarios where this might play out?
Dr. Rastall: It often happens when kids hit, kick, bite, throw things, or run away. It may also happen when kids are perceived as “ignoring” us or are non-compliant with a task (like homework). Also, if a child takes items that don’t belong to him (a.k.a., “stealing”) or gives inaccurate information (a.k.a., “lying”), these behaviors often elicit strong emotional reactions from those who have been “victimized”. This strong reaction is amplified further when the behavior is something that has happened repeatedly (e.g., “I’ve told him a million times. Why doesn’t he learn?”).
Lynn: So then, do kids with autism have intent when they demonstrate these types of behavior?
Dr. Rastall: Let’s define some terms. All behavior has intent, meaning that behavior is ALWAYS driven by something. The behavior may serve communicative, task-avoidant, pain attenuation, attention-seeking, and many other functions. So yes, there is intent. The issue of whether the behavior is pre-meditated (thought through in a planned manner) or ill-intended (meant to annoy or irritate or hurt) is different. In most cases, kids with autism do not premeditate or intend ill will to others. Premeditation and ill will toward others requires highly sophisticated executive functioning skills, as well as a high level of social/communicative awareness (two areas known to be significantly impacted by ASD).
Lynn: I know my child often presents behavior incongruent to the situation, such as giggling when she has made a mess and I’m instructing her on behavior that is acceptable and not. It sometimes feels as if she is not taking me seriously or is making fun of the situation. It’s a challenge to keep a straight face and not let my emotions seep out.
Dr. Rastall: Exactly. Affect (one’s outward expression of mood) often doesn’t match the situation with autism. Children with autism may laugh at times when it doesn’t seem appropriate to do so.
Lynn: What advice do you have for parents and others to better understand and handle behavior that may seem to be deliberate?
Dr. Rastall: Here is what I suggest:
- Do your best to take your emotion out of the situation. Try to remind yourself that the behavior isn’t personal. Remain neutral and calm.
- Think about what might be driving the behavior. Ask yourself what the function of the behavior may be. (e.g., to communicate, to avoid something undesirable, to seek attention, to get something desirable, to mitigate something unpleasant or painful)
- Think about the environment and what may be reinforcing the behavior (the environment includes not just the physical space but the people in it who may inadvertently reinforce the behavior).
A classic example in the autism field lies in a child without language who may hit, yell, or bite to get basic needs met (like food, attention, desired objects). If we provide that child with a way to communicate (like using cards with words or pictures on them—PECS), the child’s need for hitting/yelling/biting behavior is lessened; the child has a pro-social behavior that they can use to get their needs met.
Lynn: What about behavior that is termed oppositional/defiant or a conduct disorder? Would this be treated any differently?
Dr. Rastall: “Defiant” behavior is just like any other behavior—it serves a purpose. Thus, the response to behavior that has been deemed “defiant” or “oppositional” is similar to the response to non-intentional behavior. We want to eliminate any inadvertent reinforcement of the undesirable behavior, assess the purpose of the behavior, and give the child a more desirable behavior to use to get that need met. We can then reinforce the use of the desirable “replacement behavior.”
Lynn: What do you say to parents who want to know whether behavior is attributable to autism (and therefore, they wonder, if the child isn’t accountable for it or it isn’t likely to change) or to something else such as being a teenager?
Dr. Rastall: I hear that question a lot. I think it’s helpful to take a larger view of your child and the behavior. Whether it is typical behavior for your child’s developmental level or autism, if it’s a behavior that you want to shape, then gather information that lies deeper than what is right in front of you. Do your best to avoid making a social or personal interpretation of the behavior.
Lynn: It sounds as if the bottom line is that all behavior is intentional and we should give kids with autism the benefit of the doubt (meaning that most of the time, the behavior serves a purpose other than hurting others).
Dr. Rastall: Yes. We tend to interpret negatively, behavior that seems deliberate. There may be some benefit to pointing out the effect of the behavior on others (i.e.: “I felt sad when you broke my vase.”) but this requires a fairly high degree of awareness of self and others. This is called theory of mind and it is a deficit in autism.
Lynn: What about the belief that once a child demonstrates a behavior and is corrected, that he should then “know better next time”?
Dr. Rastall: In the case of a child who has been told “a million times” and still demonstrates the undesirable behavior, there is likely something (either internal or external) reinforcing the behavior that outweighs the negative consequences. For example, a child who continually takes ice cream bars from the freezer, despite being lectured and having their screen time taken away for 24 hours, is reinforced by the chemicals in the brain that are released when high-calorie, high-fat food is consumed.
In addition, the executive functioning skills required for in-the moment impulse control (like thinking ahead, weighing consequences) are under-developed in children with ASD, so they will need many more repetitions before they make the connection between behavior and consequence and can think ahead and hold themselves back in these sorts of situations. Some may never quite make this connection, especially, if there continues to be something in the environment that is reinforcing the behavior.
Thanks so very much to Dr. Rastall for helping us to better understand children with autism and behavior. We invite you to share your story of how you helped to shape positive behavior by looking at it from a neutral standpoint.
I was just wondering how Dr. Rastall feels about sensory processing deficits? I am an occupational therapist working with children with Autism and have had 18 years of success applying sensory integration techniques to sensory overloads that “look like bad behavior”.
Hi Darlene,
Thank you for your thoughtful response. Certainly, it is important that we consider all possible roots of behavior, and sensory overstimulation is one of those things we want to assess. Decreasing environmental stimulation and/or helping children learn to manage/tolerate sensory input often leads to reduction in challenging behaviors.
Dr. Rastall,
Thank you for taking my concern. Recently had a situation with a child (male age 13) who was expelled from another school, and accepted by our school personal (self contained classroom). The previous school experienced behavior of striping naked, urinating, and defecating in the classroom. Student smeared waste on the floor and walls. Student came to our school mid November. In mid January we experienced the same behavior, with the addition of tearing pictures off the wall and tearing paperback books into small pieces. Before this occurred, we had several bolting out of classroom, and striping naked. The student was expelled after the defecation, hitting, kicking, destruction of the classroom. Student would use feet to flip urine on anyone who came close. The incident occurred approximately 3 hours. Student is currently going through expulsion, and various evaluations.
Do you have any input into the behavior.
Hi Connie,
It sounds like seeking a professional consultation from an autism expert for the school staff may be warranted.
Thanks for your comment.
Hi Dr. Rastall,
My name is Chris, and I work in a high school with our ASD student population (high functioning). This past week I’ve dealt with two separate students involved in theft (a teacher’s laptop and the master school key). I was wondering if you could comment on the typical function of stealing for people on the spectrum? Is it common? Neither student was able to express why they had stolen their respective items, and both were aware of the negative consequences associated with getting caught. I’m finding it difficult to come up with a contingency plan with them when I can’t identify the function of the behaviour we’re trying to replace.
Thanks for your time and help,
Chris
p.s. Any resources you think might help would also be very appreciated
Hi Chris,
Dr. Emily will reply end of this month.
Thanks!
Did you happen to get a response to the stealing issue?? My daughter who is very bright and has ASD has been in a stealing streak and has multiple elaborate lies that she thinks of on the spot. I cannot get this under control and while we continue to try different things with her ABA, her stealing and lies are only getting worse.
Hi Christi,
Here’s Dr. Emily’s reply to Chris last November.
A: Thank you for your question. I’m not sure there is a universal “typical function” of this behavior for individuals with ASD. However, there are some special considerations to make when looking at the function of this behavior in children with ASD. For example, executive functioning skills in kids with ASD are often less developed than their typical peers, so they have a more difficult time thinking about consequences and/or resisting impulses. Though they may know the consequences, in that moment when they see something they want, their brains aren’t thinking about those consequences and aren’t able to resist the impulse to take.
In addition, we know that kids with ASD often have a hard time considering the perspective of others, so they are less likely to think about how taking an item will affect others. Also, items may be increasingly appealing if they fit within the restricted interests of a child with ASD. Finally, kids with ASD may have a harder time communicating their needs, so taking items is a quick and easy way of “bypassing the ask.”
No matter the purpose, it’s not uncommon for kids to have a hard time explaining why it was that they took a particular item; I often hear, “I don’t know.” or “I just wanted it.” The truth is, they may not actually know or they may not have the words to describe it.
Regarding behavior planning, a functional behavior analysis (with someone who knows ASD well) is probably where you want to start. As far as intervention, broadly, just like for all humans, behavior changes are made via reinforcement of “the right” behaviors. Thus, we might start by praising and rewarding impulse control behaviors, like raising a hand in class (“I could tell you really wanted to speak out, but you raised your hand instead.”) and/or asking for desired items/privileges (“I appreciate you asking to use my pencil before taking it from my desk.”).
Another option might be to reward the absence of stealing behaviors. We might also teach scripts for how to ask for things and/or how to negotiate politely and effectively; when scripts are used, praise and rewards are given to promote continued use. For more resources about behavior management in the classroom, the following books might be helpful:
Positive Behavior Support in the Classroom (Jackson and Panyan)
A Work in Progress: Behavior Management Strategies and Curriculum for Intensive Behavioral Treatment of Autism (Leaf and McEachin)
Coaching Students with Executive Functioning Deficits (Dawson and Guare)
I would like to hear Dr. Emily’s response to Chris Hall. We are dealing with this issue with a 16 year old and struggling with how to stop the behavior.
Hello. Dr. Emily answered this question in her Nov 2016 blog, The Function of Stealing: https://theautismblog.seattlechildrens.org/7090-2/